Do you require psychological counselling before or after you have had an abortion?

How do individuals feel after an abortion?

Every individual is unique in how they feel after an abortion. Most people report feeling a sense of relief that they have made the best decision given their circumstances; this is the most common response. For some, however, abortion can raise a number of emotional responses including sadness, guilt, rage, shame, and regret. Some feel bad about themselves because they don’t feel guilty about having an abortion but think they should feel guilty. In general, understanding your emotional pain can help you to begin to let go of the grief, guilt, rage, or shame you may be feeling. It is important to acknowledge that you are hurting and to take good care of yourself if you are experiencing difficulties.

You are not a bad person because you had an abortion. You are also not alone in having chosen abortion. Many people are surprised to learn that about 56 million individuals worldwide have abortions each year.

What kinds of things might contribute to a woman feeling distress after an abortion?

Many factors could contribute to feelings of distress. Your hormones are changing back to their pre-pregnancy state. This chemical change can cause feelings of sadness and weepiness. Someone else may have pressured you into having an abortion, rather than letting you make the decision for yourself. You might not have much support from your friends or family; isolation and stigma are among major reasons why women may find themselves in distress after an abortion.

You might feel very divided inside about your decision to have an abortion. It may not have been clear to you that abortion was the right decision given your circumstances.

You may feel abandoned and alone. Maybe you were hoping the person who got you pregnant would want to have a baby with you. Maybe they were not willing to do that, contributing to your sadness.

Perhaps you are prone to feelings of low self-esteem and often feel bad about yourself.

Other parts of your life may be very stressful — school, your job, your children etc.

You might fear that you will never again be able to get pregnant. If this is a worry to you, be assured that a safe medical abortion does not cause infertility in the future.

Anytime you make a difficult decision, it is natural to worry "what if I had made a different choice?" and to agonize over the decision.

Abortion may bring up old experiences or feelings you have been repressing. For instance, if sexual abuse is a part of your past, you may find yourself re-living feelings related to your abuse. Feeling vulnerable about the pregnancy and abortion may trigger you to remember a time in the past when you felt frightened and vulnerable.

You may find it  helpful and even empowering to know that you are not alone to experience an unwanted pregnancy and having an abortion. Each year 56 million individuals have abortions worldwide. Each person has a story and various reasons. Here you can read more about abortion facts.You can also read other people’s experiences and stories here.

Is it normal to feel depressed after an abortion?

In rare cases, women may become clinically depressed after having an abortion. If your feelings are overwhelming and do not seem to be resolving or you are suffering symptoms of depression, you should consult a professional.

There are some factors which are known to contribute to the risk of depression after abortion, including having a history of depression, anxiety or panic. Depression is a very serious illness. It is extremely important that you seek help from a professional such as a doctor, counsellor or therapist if you believe you are depressed.

What is “Post-abortion Syndrome"?

A general consensus has been reached in the medical and scientific communities that most women who have abortions experience little or no psychological harm. However, many people who are opposed to abortion claim that women who have had abortions will suffer from a type of post-traumatic stress disorder called “post-abortion syndrome".

Reliable, unbiased studies have shown that, although psychological disturbances do occur after abortion, they are uncommon and generally mild and short-lived.

Most psychiatric experts doubt the existence of a so-called post-abortion syndrome and point out that abortion is not significantly different from any other stressful life experience that might cause trauma in some people.

What can I do to help myself heal after an abortion?

Different people have different feelings about and experiences with abortion. Psychological studies show that most people feel relief after an abortion and do not suffer for prolonged periods of time due to the abortions that they choose to have. These studies show that individuals can overcome negative feelings that might affect them. 

After an abortion, there are concrete things you can do to help yourself come to terms with your decision. The following suggestions can help you accept and deal with your feelings, make your feelings of sadness go away and help you reach some "closure" to your abortion experience.

Allowing yourself to express any sadness and grief that you are feeling will help it to diminish; you won't always feel this way.

Don't be hard on yourself. Talk to yourself in ways that are affirmative: You are a good person. You are a moral person.

Remind yourself that you are brave - you made a difficult decision.

Remind yourself why you made the decision to have an abortion.

Remember you made the best decision you could under the circumstances.

Ask yourself, if you hope to have a planned pregnancy someday, how would it differ from the situation you have just been in?

Write your feelings down in a journal or special book which no one else will see.

Think about things you can do which will make you feel good. Write them down and try to do several of these each day.

Remind yourself of the future. Make a list of things you are looking forward to doing.

Consider creating an ‘end’ to your relationship with your pregnancy by writing a good-bye letter and keeping it in a safe place or burning it.

Practice relaxation exercises to help deal with stress.

Read about others’ experiences at the "I had an abortion" part of this website. This can be reassuring and make your own feelings clearer. You can find more resources on our website and consult other abortion stories websites.